captain underpants is better than every john green book
give me ur address and i’ll rate the way u sleep and the way you bathe
I would never let my kids watch the orchestra, too much sax and violins.
"That’s gonna be 18.50 fuck boi"
filling out a job application
“are you available for a Skype interview?”
date a boy who reads. or better yet date a 37 year old recent divorcee with a high diversified stock portfolio who’s looking to feel young again and can treat you to what you deserve
THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY FAVORITE THING
that in the Chinese version of Disney’s Mulan, the fake name she gives is “Ping”, but her family name “Fa” in English is “Hua” in Chinese, therefore her full name is “Hua Ping”, which is literally “Flower Vase”, and that’s why Shang is so bewildered because it’s a silly name.
but OP how could you not tell them the best part
“hua ping”/flower vase is chinese slang for “camp gay”
bro you look so cute right now dude. dude you are so fucking adorable